Schuette ensures the devil’s day in court

March 6, 2014
By
Attorney General Bill Schuette (Source: Wikimedia Commons)

Attorney General Bill Schuette (Source: Wikimedia Commons)

Boy, does Attorney General Bill Schuette need a timeout, or what?

In case you’ve been asleep since last week, first, good afternoon! Schuette and his team have been defending Michigan’s 2004 constitutional ban on same-sex marriage in the trial of DeBoer v Snyder for days. Two lesbian nurses, April DeBoer and Jayne Rowse, are seeking to overturn the marriage ban. So far, things haven’t gone well for poor Bill.  Let’s recap the state’s unraveled defense.

On Monday, the state flew in Mark Regnerus, a University of Texas sociologist, who, Slate points out, is a giant dick. He conducted a study in 2012 that says children of same-sex marriages face more disadvantages than kids raised by a male and female. Regnerus’ testimony Monday upheld the notion that, yeah, he’s a dickhead. From the Freep:

“The science in this domain is new … it is very new. And intellectually, it’s frustrating to see social science close off a debate by saying this is settled,” said Regnerus, who urged Michigan to uphold its ban on same-sex marriage. “The most prudent thing to do is wait … before making a radical move on marriage.”

Right! It must be frustrating for the guy whose survey boosted a religious right marketing machine to see social science end a debate that 17 other states already realized should’ve been squashed awhile ago. One reviewer of Regnerus’ seminal work called “bullshit.” Literally. Wait, even Regnerus’ employer thinks he’s a clown? Thanks for the tab, Bill! Fuck this guy.

Before Regnerus, the state delivered an even bigger punchline. The federal judge overseeing the trial, Bernard Friedman, told the state’s first expert witness to hit the road 20 minutes after taking the stand.

“He’s very eloquent … but right now, all he is offering to us is mainly his opinions,” U.S. District Judge Bernard Friedman said of the witness. “The court does not believe … that he should be allowed to testify.”

Jesus, where did Schuette pick this bunch? The state paid a guy to just deliver some of his own opinions? That’s what they’re working with to try keeping Michigan on the wrong side of history a tad bit longer? It’s clear, at least, to us, that Schuette’s grasping at straws. That — perhaps(!) — a constitutional amendment perpetuating blatant discrimination is, in fact, unconstitutional. Schuette had to have shown his hand too soon, because it would be unfathomable to think this sideshow could be topped.

Wait…

Douglas Allen, come on down!

[Allen's] views emerged following a question from plaintiffs attorney Ken Mogill, who is fighting to overturn Michigan’s ban on gay marriage.

“Is it accurate that you believe the consequence of engaging in homosexual acts is a separation from God and eternal damnation?” Mogill asked the state’s expert, then added, “in other words, they’re going to hell.”

“Without repentance, yes,” answered [Allen].

In case you’re keeping score, this is a farce. This is Schuette’s sanctimoniousness on full display for the world. The attorney general’s spokesperson tells Metro Times that Schuette is simply doing his duty to defend the state’s constitution. That’s not the entire truth, of course. Schuette is a longtime, fervent defender of anti-gay legislation. Schuette certainly could have chosen not to defend the gay marriage ban — Kentucky’s attorney general chose that road this week. That’s not Bill’s style, though. If it takes paying an expert in the supernatural who truly believes unrepentant gays will burn in hell to defend the ban, fuck it, bring him in.

The attorney general’s office has yet to receive a bill for the expert witnesses. But, Schuette’s spokesperson confirms, a number of them will be compensated. At this point, it’s unclear how much the final tab will be.

In the midst of this state’s fragile economy, it heartens us to know somebody’s making a buck off this sideshow.

  • JeffreyRO55

    It should be noted that the state of Michigan is relying on “experts” who are clearly associated with advancing a religious viewpoint. That itself should be problematic to the state’s citizens. It’s also interesting and amusing to note that the “expert” who was dismissed is a college student! That’s who the state is relying on to support its desire to deny its gay and lesbian citizens equal rights.

  • wayne

    ….not to mention that Regnerus’ “study” was financed by 2 Christian, anti-gay outfits to the tune of $730,000!

  • nobsartist

    tricky dicky and sh/tty will be outa here in November.

  • toom

    Yeah! F the will of the people!