Graffiti vandals, be warned: Dan Gilbert is watching you

June 30, 2014

fancy ladies

Motor City Muckraker called our attention to news that Quicken Loans owner Dan Gilbert circulated emails asking for his employees to help identify “three fancy ‘ladies’” who vandalized the alley of his building at 1001 Woodward last week. Gilbert (apparently very cognizant that a sizable portion of his workforce is made up of Detroit’s tech-savvy twentysomethings), sent surveillance photos and descriptions of the suspects, calling on his employees to share on social media and email leads directly to him. He even offered a reward to cover the “entire cost to paint your home” (quotation marks his) for tipsters also in need of a paint job of their own.

MT has obtained the emails and copied them in their entirety below (with Gilbert’s esoteric use of quotation marks intact):

Good Afternoon Everyone,

As you all know, we all work hard (you, your fellow team members, our Rock Security team, the City, the Detroit Police Department and many others) to keep downtown Detroit safe and our various properties looking GOOD.

Unfortunately, once in a great while, degenerates who don’t “get it” crawl out of their deep dark holes and try to ruin it for the rest of us who take pride in and deeply care about our city.

This past Sunday (June 22nd) the three fancy ‘ladies’ pictures bellowed decided to vandalize the alley of the 1001 building… You know, that big brown building on the northwest corner of Campus Martius (see map below)?

Please take a moment to look at the pictures and video below. The resolution of the video is low, but you can see three vandals spray painting in the upper frame of the shot.

Please email me right away if you have any insight or information as to whom these clowns might be.

Also, please feel free to post the pictures and video on any of your social media accounts such as Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc. to expand the network of people who might be able to identify the perpetrators.

I am personally offering a reward to cover the “entire cost to paint your home” (or apartment) the next time you need a fresh coat either on the inside or outside (or both) for any information that you provide that leads to the apprehension of these three fine ‘ladies’.

So ‘brush up’ on your detective skills and get to work…

Dan G.

The tips apparently poured in, and not long after Gilbert sent out a follow up email literally thanking his staff for their eyeballs:

Wow, our team members are truly the best, most high level folks around. We received several strong leads in a matter of minutes!

We have identified the suspects and we are working with law enforcement regarding next steps.

Thank you all for your eyeballs, awareness and heart!

Dan G.

Wow. We almost felt that Gilbert was being a little too hard on these hipster girls (we’re pretty open-minded about street art). But then we actually looked at their “art”:


Really, ladies? “Welcome to Detroit,” “izzy,” fuck,” “bitch”? That’s the best you can do? That is some spectacularly lame graffiti! If you’re going to take on the most powerful man in Detroit, at least throw a cool piece up. Then again, that would violate rule #1 in the unwritten but commonly understood rules of graffiti: Never tag an occupied building. And these days, most occupied buildings in Detroit seemingly belong to Gilbert.

One can imagine Dan Gilbert standing over his miniature model of Detroit, smug in his victory. Look out, graffiti vandals of Detroit. Dan Gilbert is watching you.

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  • nobsartist

    gilbert, who should be in prison for mortgage fraud should understand that his personal police force has NO jurisdiction except for under his desk or watching HIS door. should they confront ANYONE outside of this felons door, they will be getting their punk ass’s handed to them.

  • mandy

    *peace signQ

  • Facts

    Incorrect. Do some research.

  • Frank Adam Brenner

    Yeah, I love the idea of girls in tight jeans and halter tops bombing, but this is awful. While I think this kind of big-brother crap is incredibly corny, these ladies need some art classes.

  • Bob Blake

    Are you a former employee he fired for fraud? Usually they are the world-class hypocrites that get on a board like this and make the ignorant slanderous patently false statement you just made. QL is the cleanest shop in America. They never have and never will commit ‘fraud’ (outside the handful of slime balls who go rogue and they fire immediately of which I am guessing you are one of them). They have won 4 straight JD Power awards for the best client service in home lending in America out of 60,000 places you can get a mortgage…All ranked and rated by customers. Because they were in the same business as others who did commit fraud, they committed fraud? Hey, Detroit has a lot of murderers. Assuming you live in Detroit, by your warped prejudicial mind ‘you should be in jail for murder’. I am sick and tired of anonymous warriors on these message boards committing libel because of some sick jealousy they have for people who just happen to do a hell of a lot more in one week or day than they can get done in a lifetime. Take out your rage and anger you have toward yourself on producing something or doing something good for society. Sitting in your mom’s basement and spewing your venom towards the good people who make things happen ain’t the way to happiness, tough guy…

  • jaharthur

    Why is it ever OK to deface somebody else’s property?

  • Trexinmichigan

    Wow, that nose sure is brown. Like facts says, look it up, Dan has a past and leopards don’t change spots.

  • MickinDetroit

    And they’re caught. All three from GP Woods….which makes sense.

  • nobsartist

    That’s like a murderer saying that he only murdered someone a little bit. gilbert is nothing but a carnival barker and you are nothing but an ass kissing jackass.
    By the way, tough guy, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. just like I would never deal with a carnival barker huckster like gilbert who should be in prison for mortgage fraud or even just fraud, you simply don’t have to read these comments.

  • Hope

    Please tell how that “makes sense”?

  • goddfried

    I heard Gilbert fucks horses?

  • aphguy

    It makes sense because these “fancy ladies” wouldn’t do it to their parent’s house or in their neighborhoods. In their minds, Detroit must be a dumping grounds for any negative activity they want it to be. there were several neighboring cities that they could have gone to, which include GP Shores, St. Clair Shores, Harper Woods, Grosse Pointe, and GP Farms. But what did they do instead? There were plenty of targets in those areas, but they drove 12 miles to Detroit to do it.