Good news for “Horoscopes” lovers

May 7, 2014
We are sure that neither Rob Brezsny nor Cal Garrison look anything like this dude.

We are sure that neither Rob Brezsny nor Cal Garrison look anything like this dude.

In the wake of announcements of the “superweekly” created by the merger of Metro Times and Real Detroit, some readers seem to have one burning question that outshines all others: Will the new paper keep the HOROSCOPES column by Cal Garrison or the Free Will Astrology column by Rob Brezsny? Over the years, some of our readers have voiced frustration over Brezsny’s literate style, such as, “I want to find out what’s going to happen next week, and suddenly I’m hearing about an article about Japanese poetry that appeared in The New Yorker? Or hearing about a piece of art that was left on the moon by astronauts? What does this have to do with me?” Almost universally, these readers find solace in the straightforward horoscopes of Cal Garrison, who’s much more likely to tell you to break that thing off, or that you should ask for a raise or something. Far from dancing around the future and quoting magazine articles, Garrison talks to readers as if she were that old friend who knows you need some sense shaken into you.

For readers who prefer Garrison, we have great news: You will see her HOROSCOPES column in place of Rob Brezsny’s starting next week, in our paper and up on our website.

And for those who can’t get enough of Brezsny, he’ll be where he always is: at

The horror, the horror.

The horror, the horror.

  • choquant

    NOOOOO. I loved Free Will Astrology. Screw the haters, I like actually learning something while self-indulgently reading my fake future.

  • LBB

    Free Will Astrology is the only reason I pick up the Metro Times. You’ve lost a reader!