10 Internet plagues we want to die in 2014

January 2, 2014
By

Screen shot 2013-12-31 at 11.31.50 AM
10) Think pieces about Miley Cyrus. And think pieces about think pieces about Miley Cyrus. She’s not worth a fraction of the ink bloggers have spent while analyzing and overanalyzing the implications of the cultural apropriation of twerking. ;p

9) The word “facepalm.” You’d think everyone on the Internet was sitting alone at their computer, smacking their own face every time they click on a link. See also: the overuse of SMH (shaking my head) and even better, SMDH (shaking my damn head).

8) The overuse of the word “problematic.” Everything is “problematic.” Try a more descriptive word.

7) Overuse of #hashtags. Somewhere along the way everyone decided that every damn tweet had to end with an ironic hashtag. Please, Twitter, we implore you… stop. #itstartedoffasajoke #thatjokeisntfunnyanymore #itmakesyousoundstupid

6) Talking like a 7th grader: phrases like “butthurt,” “cool story, bro,” “all the feels,” and using “because” as a preposition. Because stupid.

5) Upworthy-style headlines. They’re Everywhere, And When You Click Here To Find Out Why, You Just Might Cry.

4) The ever-shrinking adjective. It doesn’t make you sound adorbs. It sounds totes ridic.

3) The overuse of the word “foodie.” We get it, “gourmet,” “gastronaut,” or “gourmand” sound too hoity-toity. But “foodie” is overly cute, and what does it even really mean, anyway? That you just like to eat food?

2) Instagramming your food. Instagramming your food doesn’t make you a foodie. We ordered a pizza from Domino’s and we shit you not, the box featured instructions on how to properly Instagram and tag your pizza. We get it if you want to show off a beautiful romantic meal you made or something, but… just put your damn phone away and eat your pizza like a normal person, OK?

1) Writing. Like. This. Is. The. Most. Annoying. Cliché. Ever.

Tags: ,

  • Foodie

    #Facepalm

  • Yourmother

    I think. maybe. you. suck. ooooooh # I’m totes important with my big important opinions.
    # what are we upset about this week?